Which Final Fantasy character are you?

Which Final Fantasy Character Are You?



Final Fantasy VII

Yay, I'm Yuna!! ^3^
I think it's suits me, ne? xD~

Who are you?

Why is it all so hard?
I want everything to be okay...but it just is not.
I want to live a life without much regret and without much lies.
I know it is not possible to live a life all without any regrets and lies, it just doesn't work that way.
But I am trying not to lie to myself and others as much as I can and I try to live without many things would I regret....it is not easy. But that's my way I want to live, it is a quite honest one.

Why is it then that others lie to themselves and lie to me?
They regret doing so, and I regret hearing them and knowing a little bit of their true feelings.
It hurts me.
It hurts me to be lied to although I know how this person is actually feeling.
Of course I cannot know for sure but when you came to know someone you know what that person is thinking.
I always get the feeling I am lied to but then I cannot be 100% sure about that...
But I feel there is more to it than I've been told.
Why are people lying to me?
It fucking hurts me.
Tell me what you really want.
Tell me what you don't want.
I cannot say I am sorry for what I did when no one tells me.
I cannot do the things you want me to when you are not honest with me.
If you want to go to that party even though you told me you would not got if I didn't go, well then just tell me honestly.
Of course I have some issues with that.
But it hurts so much more hearing you say you won't go and knowing deep inside you want to.
You feel bad for not doing what you want to do and lying to me.
And I feel bad for being lied to and having to feel insecure because I just don't know what you honestly feel and want to do anymore.
If you don't tell me honestly I cannot know. I cannot make it better. I cannot do it better next time. I do not know when I am doing it wrong again.

And being distant is not the answer to that.
It will only make it worse.
Stand up to yourself's desires and wishes.
Even if it hurt someone.
Say it out aloud.
The answer to thas is not knowing how to handle such situations in the long run, the answer is to know how to handle the situation when it actually occurs/happens.
Otherwise you will continue to lie to yourselv and others.
It will only get worse. It will get wrong.
Until it's all to wrong, too late.

I don't want that.
I don't want to be lied at. I feel insecure when that happens.
I don't want to be lied at.
I cannot react to people who don't tell me the truth about what they want and don't want.
I feel insecure.
I feel insecure.
I feel insecure.
I feel insecure how to face you the next time...

Nice day

Today my mum, my sis and me went to the Kirmes.
It was much fun.
We ate chips and pizza and got on the ferry's wheel (well my mum did not xD) and bought strawberries and grape fruits with chocolate *U*
It was a nice and smooth evening, I am very grateful for that.
I'm glad I went.

Tomorrow I have to give my car to my sister, since her car is broken right now and needs to be repaired. The car of her boyfriend is broken, too, so she needs my car to go to work next week. It's not a problem, really, since I have holidays, but....totally being without a car and not have enough money to go enywhere by bus ..is kinda a strange feeling, I tell you xD~
But oh well, I will survive it.

Concering the package: I already requested his "Kassenbeleg" for sending the package.
In my next mail I will tell him to fill out a "Nachforschungsantrag" at DHL and send me a copy of that, too.
Only the one who send the package can request this inquiery, so I need the copies to actually see that he really searches for the package and is not fooling me, you know.
I don't know if I am able to "verklagen" him...since the package was uncovered...and that means I have the responsebility of it all.
We think I cannot request my money back. Shit.

Well...let's see what will come.
I just don't know if we actually can afford a new christmas present then.... v_v;;~

And I ordered a new Manga from amazon.
I REALLY LOVE YOU AMAZON BECAUSE YOU I CAN BLINDLY TRUST!!!! <333~>
Kukukukukukuku~

Right now I'm reading a fanfiction where Naruto is deaf *_*
I like handicapped people in fanfictions and mangas x3333~
See Naono Bohra x3333333~

Out of luck

I guess I ran out of luck.
Everyone just hates me about right now.

At first, I lost my manga at mcdondalds.
Well, it was not entirely my fault, since when I came back from the restroom my friends already came torwards me, holding my jacket, bag and stuff to be quick and get going to the station. I had no time left to even think about to look at our seats again, IF there are still things lying there. Well....and you have to admit, that you can at least trust your friends to look themselves, if they have everythinng.
But they said they did and there would not have been anything left.

I believe that they looked and made sure. But even for them it had to be going quickly, so I assume they did not look good enough. I mean, my manga was there ._.
I think it slipped to the floor when they took my jacket and bag from the chairs....How else can you explain it?
So, it was our all's fault.
But even though you can guess, I'm so very, very , very angry.

I wanted to read that manga, I really did. And then that shit.
Why me?

And secondly, my girlfriend bitches around.
Well, I say if somethings's not right for me, she does not.
After a while then she tells me she's not right with this and that....well, how can I change things that already occured?
I won't change myself, I can't. I did. Now it's enough.


Thirdly, the package won't arrive.



See, the world hates me.
But that's alright. Because I'm the evil one. Yeah. Please blame it on me.

Kukukukukuku~
Go fuck yourselves, oh holy ones!
My time is running out.
But I won't let you bury it.

Omae datta.
Omae datta.
Omae dattanda.



Yeah, das Englisch ist mal voll daneben Ôo;;~
Aber was soll's!?????????????
DAS LEBEN HASST MICH UND ENGLISCH AUCH!!!

ICH DENKE NUR AN DICH
ICH DENKE NUR AN DICH
ICH DENKE IMMER NUR AN DICH
DOCH DAS ALLES REICHT DIR NICHT
ICH DENKE NUR AN DICH
VERFUCKT SEIST DUUUUUuuuuu~
UH yeah!

FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCKKKKKK~
Screaming in pain, it doesn't matter, it does not anymore
I won't the see the light, not anymore
Darkness ensued, never to be broken down
Not to be defeated
Not to be enlightened
Not to be, no no
I won't say it
No I won't
Let's leave it all behind
It's easier that way, it really is
Crave for warmth and tenderness
I'm a tiger, scratching your skin with my evil claws
Roar~
I'm scarring you, so full of deep red scars
yeah~
Keeping this up
No one will break me
I do it myself
But you would not know
You'll never know
Since we are all so blin, so blind
and deaf and silent
wings where are you?
my back is scratched, no wings there any longer
I'm bound to the earth
not flying ever again~

ver-fucked oder wie?!

Was soll das hier alles nun?!
Wollt ihr mich verarschen!??!? Ich habe STARK das Gefühl.
Ich=/=Organisation.
Macht euren Scheiß doch gefälligst demnächst selbst.
Fuck.
Redet mit mir oder verkriecht euch auf eure Treppe oder in die Ecke, ich sehe nicht ein, mich für nichts und wieder nichts zu überwinden.
Ver-FUCKED is life, oh yeah lalalalala~ oh yeah, so fuck fuck fuck youuuu~

Kay, wie geil is das denn wieder? xD~ *lach*
Ne im Ernst: so sinnlos und nur lustig ist das hier wirklich nicht...
Life is a regular rat-race yeah~ all around and around me... Hyde bringt's mal wieder aufn Punkt. Harhar~

...I lost it ;_;

Just now I was soooo uber bored...I stalked youtube...again.

And there I saw an AMV with Celine Dion's song "My heart will go on", the pictures and scenes were from the oooooooold anime "Tico of the seven seas"/"Tico, ein toller Freund".
I just loved to watch it as a kid!!! *_*
There is this red-haired girl, Nanami, being friends with a whale!
I always wanted to have an orca-friend, too xD~
They're just my fav animals after all ^-^

Well, I watched it at random...and I started crying ._.
I never cry.
At least not so soon. A lot must have happened to make me cry.
But this certain scene in which Tico sacrifices her life to save the submarine....I totally lost it! ;___________; Ticoooooooo!!~

It was so heart-wrenching to see the whale with all the bloody sratches and cuts slowly drfting under water, deeper deeper into the icy sea in between all those icebergs...
Nanami was on their ship that time, seeing the submarine being freed and Tico lying motionless in the water....and then drifting down.
She jumped from the ship into the water, swam a bit but because of the icebergs underwater she lost orientation soon...her eyes frantically searching for Tico and then she saw her, drifting deeper into the black of the ocean. She tried to swim to her, but suddenly her dad appeared from behind and hold her back, it was too dangerous. Tico was dying.

And then Nanami sat on the lap of a woman (I cannot remember who she waa actually ^^;) on the ship, gazing far off into nothingness, tears in her eyes - she's not exactly crying, but isn't screaming either.

This scene just touched my heart, so sad! T_T
Awwww~ Tico!!
And she left her baby behind, too!

survey xD

1. Write down every letter of your name.
2. Write down a song that pops up in your mind beginning with each letter.
3. Count the number of letters and tag that many people in your friends list.

The following is just filled in with Hyde/Laruku/Vamps songs <3~>

Sunadokei (Laruku)

Trust (Laruku)

Redrum (Vamps)

Evergreen (Hyde)

It’s sad (Hyde)

Caress of venus (Laruku)

Hello (Hyde)

Vivid colors (Laruku)
Existence (Laruku)
Ready steady go! (Laruku)
Eien (Laruku)
Natsu no yuutsu (Laruku)
As one (Laruku)

Wow, my first name is all with Laruku songs x333~ yay!!!

But then again, the survey says to write down songs that pop up your mind...Well, I admit I searched the songs by Laruku with the right letter at the beginning, so I cheated xD~

So here's my second try, this time I'm writing down the song wich first pops up my mind!

Let's go! xD~

Shout at the Devil (Laruku)

Time goes by (Vamps)

Redemption (Gackt)

Evergreen (Hyde)

It's sad (Hyde)

Cosmos (Vamps)

Hollow (D'espairsRay)

Vermillion (Girugamesh)

Enishi (Girugamesh)

Rosier (LuneSea)

Evolution (Girugamesh)

Never End (Siam Shade)

All Year round falling in Love (Laruku)

Yeah, kinda difficult^^~

random~

Ever watched the anime Gin-iro no kami no Agito/Origin - Spirits of the past?
[the translated japanese title would be something like 'Agito's silver dragon' I guess...]

I like it xD~
I guess in german it was just...a litte strange in my opinion, dunno xD~

But the opening sonng is awwwww~ *______________*
I didn't think that that was even possible, that woman sings like a god! :3~
The title from that song is 'Chouwa oto ~ with reflection' *o*
Listen to it!!! <33~>

Kingdom Hearts Story~ teil 2

There were some minutes of silence.
“…On that island everything began. I want to go.”
Kairi and Riku looked at Sora who wore a exigent expression on his kindly featured face as he gazed over the great ocean.
A gentle breeze arose which streamed through his brown shaggy hair, the smell of the salty sea filled his nose.
The sun reflecting in his clear blue eyes seemed like burning flames of determination. As for Sora and the other two, this island was important – there everything bagan, darkness against light. The birth of the one with the strongest weapon of all – the one who is destined to hold the keyblade.

Battles ensued, decisions had to be made in an instant and they needed to know for what they were fighting for.
And at the end they knew.

“Let’s go there tonight! Are you coming?!“, Sora grinned at his two friends in that carefree way he was known for.
The red haired girl and Riku relaxed and nodded back.
„Yeah, I want to go, too!“, Kairi exclaimed, raising her right arm into the air for emphasizes.
“Right!!“, Sora, too, raised up his hand alongside Kairi’s.
And in this moment Riku found out again why he thought he was already more mature than the other two. Heh, he thought, they get too easily excited, just like children do…But it’s actually really cute…heh.
The silver haired, more-mature boy crossed his arms over his chest and grinned to himself as he heard Sora call out to him: “Hey, Riku! A bit more enthusiasm here, please! We are going to the island!”
He looked at Sora and then at Kairi, both still had their hands in the air.
He looked once more.
And still looked.
Sora grew impatient: “C’mon! Put your ha-…” “I’m not doing something childish like that.”, Riku shot back immediately and cut Sora’s sentence short.
“Aww, Riku, come on, just do it. You’ll see it’s fun!”, Kairi smiled at him.
He knew it was childish and that he was not gonna do it… but he also knew Kairi and Sora could be very persistent and if he didn’t do something they’d be standing there the whole night.
So he sighed softly and raised is one hand just a little bit to show the other two that he actually was excited to go there again, but is not going to show it as much as they did. He just wasn’t the type for that. He knew Sora and Kairi knew how he ticked as well… but they seemed to have fun trying to make him show some more of his emotions and not-so-mature-site of his from time to time.

He had to smile at that.
“Well, I think that is the closes to an enthusiastic reaction we’ll get from Riku, ne?”, the brown haired boy grinned.
Kairi nodded: “Now, was it that big of a deal, Riku?”
Quickly the silver haired guy turned around, just to not let them see the tiny flush he knew was spreading over his cheeks.
As the other two noticed what was wrong with him, cheerful laughter filled the air. And Riku did, too.

“Woah! Now they’ve gone rally crazy! You hear that?“, a deep voice errupted behind them and the laughter stopped. The three of them then spun around to see who was there.
“Yeah well, I kinda knew they were some crazy aliens from Jupiter to conquer the world!! Oh nooo, Wakka, our life is over now!” Another voice added comically.

“Yeah right, Tidus! We have your ass first, heh!“ Sora answered as comically and made a grimace to show he was a monster.
He then stomped up to the blonde standing beside his best friend, Wakka, and tried to catch him. But Tidus ran away just as Sora was about to grasp his arm, and grinned broadly.
“Nahnah, you alien never get to catch me! I’ll become the best blitzball player the planet got to offer!! There’s just no chance for you to beat me! And there’s no fucking way you get my ass, you faggot alien!! Ha!”

Wakka then walked up to Riku and Kairi and watched a few minutes how Sora and Tidus played hide-and-seek, now and again he grinned when Sora or Tidus both stumbled in the white sand of the beach and dared to fall straight onto their faces.
“I don’t believe they’re sixteen. They act like five.” Kairi noted exasperated, but was smiling nonetheless.
Thereupon Riku snorted audibly, remembering the situation just a few minutes ago where she and Sora had raised their hands into the air.

After ten minutes of trying to catch Tidus, Sora gave up and the two came back grinning nonetheless.
The red haired Blitzball-player tilted his head to look at Riku and called his name once. But the silver haired boy was busy smiling at his brown haired friend who was grinning back, arms crossed behind his head.
When Wakka called out to him again, Riku looked at him and gave a nod to show he was now listening.
“Well yeah…I was just asking myself…if, well…if you could help me and Tidus…like in tutoring? We both haven’t quite gotten the best grades in last math test, you know…and…”, he trailed of, nervously scraping the back of his head.
Tidus finished for him, totally not being ashamed about his miserable notes: “He meant we are in need of your help, ‘cause we totally have no clue how to go about those shitty formulas, right? We both had not much time to learn these past three month, we are preparing for our big match against the guys from Luca, you know! We are so going to kick their asses!!” The blonde teen made a pose and a victory sign, at the same time grinning broadly.
“How cool! Good luck with that! Don’t embarrass yourselves and our island!° Sora exclaimed.
„Hn, as if! We’re gonna win!“, Tidus answered back confidently.
“Good luck!“, Kairi said, smiling at Wakka and then at Tidus. “Thanks, Kairi!!“

“So, back to the tutoring thing…”, Riku began, looking at Wakka, “did I get it right? You want me to tutor you two in math?”
“Well, yeah.”, Wakka answered, nodding with his head. “You can do it right? Please help us, if not we are not gonna make it this year!!”, he begged with his hands crossed, looking at Rikus handsome face with big, brown puppy eyes.
“Pretty pleaaaaaase!!”, Tidus came next to him, also giving him the puppy eyes.

The silver haired boy made a disgusted face and turned away.
“You two wouldn’t be the only ones not going to make it this year without my help, right Sora?”, he turned back and grinned at his brown haired friend.
“Yeah, I am very worried, Sora. You have to work hard with Riku, okay?” Kairi looked into his big blue eyes, asking him to make an effort to learn harder to make it trhough this year. Sora’s weak points were English and Geography.

Kingdom Hearts story ~

[Where did my heart escape to?
We were separated from each other – You and I…
Do you wish to find me?
Or did you already forget about me existing?
I am longing to become ‘whole’.
I set forth to look for you.]

[Are we able to unite anew to become ‘whole’?
Can we go back again?
To the time we were together?
I have a wish…
A whish that cannot come from the bottom of my heart.
Help me, my other self, who steals and collects the hearts.
If we both wish from the bottom of our hearts, do you think
We can meet each other?]

[I am missing a piece of myself.
I am longing for this piece of myself that I miss.
I want to go back, holding your hand.
And I know a chain is binding us.
If I follow this chain would I then be able to find you?]

[My other self, where could you be?
I extend my hand to reach you –
The other half of something ‘whole’, escaped into darkness.
Me, an empty shell – you, a heartless shadow,
Only together we make someone ‘whole’.
With the heart in my hands I attract and draw you in,
I bind you to myself
And then I hope we are the ‘right’ two halves of someone ‘whole’.]




*** chapter 1

A brilliant blue sky stretched itself across the vivid landscapes of Destiny Islands, there where no clouds to be seen, the moderate breeze caressed the surface of the deep bluish-green water and you could clearly hear the soft crashing of the ocean, its gentle sound was like a background melody to those who passed by the white sandy shore.

Everything seemed restored back to normality, finally -and what was the most important thing- absolutely.

The battle they had fought was over now and they had won, because they gave it their all.

That’s why the three of them were genuinely happy and relieved to see the Islands they lived on (and all the other worlds they encountered)and cherished being back to their normal states.

The noonday sun was standing high in the sky and sent its powerful rays of light down onto the island, warming the air and giving everyone a content feeling.

It was when Sora, Riku and Kairi got out of school earlier that day due to their homeroom teacher’s sudden feeling of sickness at fifth period.
Everyone in class was really worried but their teacher smiled at them and assured them he was okay, that he had not slept well the past few weeks and just needed some time to rest. He was then brought home by another teacher and Sora’s class was allowed to go home.

Though, it was not a nice start into such a sunny day, but their teacher asked them not to worry and to enjoy the good weather, and so the three of them tried not to think about the accident from this morning and decided not to speak about it anymore.

They were just on their way out of the school district, still wearing their white-blue school uniforms, and went into the direction of the beach.
As they were on the small hill road that led down through the small city straight to the beach, they stopped and overlooked the scenery.
The gentle breeze coming from the sea caressed their skin and blowing through their hair. Kairi’s skirt wafted in the wind and she tried to hold it down with her hand. She then put one strand of her burgundy hair that streamed across her face and was blocking her view behind one of her ears and out of the way.
She smiled.
Looking at her two friends she saw they did, too and in their eyes there was a softness which assured her they felt the same about this scenery, that was so peaceful and calm.
There were no words needed, they understood what the other two were actually feeling, because they all felt the same: extremely happy they had saved this wonderful place.

After a few silent moments the three began walking again.
But they couldn’t stop the memories quelling up from inside their hearts. “It is so long since that time…”, Kairi began, “I mean that the three of us went to the little island.” She chuckled.
Sora, who walked to her left, nodded in agreement.
“Yeah, that’s right”, he answered, feeling nostalgic.
Riku just “hn’d”, but he was obviously feeling the same way.



Somehow, after the final battle against Xemnas when they woke up on that lillte island’s sandy beach, they never had gone there after that ever since.
Now as Kairi mentioned going there again, Riku began asking himself what exactly it had been preventing them from going there again.
Actually he had no answer to that.
Maybe it was out of fear not to go the place again, where they had made so many memories, to keep them from vanishing from their forgetting minds.
Those memories were so dear to him, and he knew they were to Kairi and Sora as well, and he didn’t want to lose these memories he made together with them.
Memories were so fragil. You cannot grasp them or they shatter into thousand of tiny pieces and you have lost them all. You have to be gentle with them, cherish them, love them and protect them.
He didn’t want such a wonderful place to be forgotten.
So he guessed that’s why they hadn’t gone there sooner – to not forget their shared story and to be able to cherish their memories once they go there again.
If they’d go there every day or at least one day a week – to often, those memories wouldn’t be special anymore.
They wanted them to be alive as long as they could keep them alive.

“I want to see if something has changed there”, Riku said.
“You mean if the island is already sprawled by weeds?!”, Sora added wondering. Then he laughed. “Well, it surely wouldn’t surprise me at all, ‘cause we haven’t been there for a while now and I think no one had taken care of our lovely island for us, you know”, the brunette said while crossing his arms behind his head.
Kairi looked at him while walking down the road to the shore and answered thoughtful: “Yes, I guess no one did. Kind of sad…“.

malware virus Win32.Brontock

I hate you!!!

Ehrlich, ich sitze hier schon seit...über 11Stunden am PC und versuche vergeblich diesen scheiß Virus zu bekämpfen und wieder loszuwerden! X_x

Markus hat mir ja schon viel geholfen, und ich habe mir selbst auch ne Anleitung gesucht, nach der ich den Virus hätte erwischen können, aber das hat bis jetzt leider alles rein gar nichts genützt!
Ich habe keine Ahnung, was ich noch machen soll außer zig verschiedene Anti-Viren-Programme nach einander durch den PC jagen zu lassen...und das Teil ist immer noch da! >_<>_>;;;~

Bitte, irgendein Programm muss den Virus doch "besiegen" können oder nicht?!
möp~...

...und zudem bin ich verdammt nochmal müde!!! =_________=
Aber ich muss das hier jetzt durchziehen...nicht, dass Vamps gar nimmer angeht...*heul*


...möp möp möp... v_v;;~

nebenbei läuft Phoenix, Themen über Hitler, seine Psyche, die schon 2 Jahre vorher analysiert wurde und wo bereits sein Selbstmord hervorgesehen wurde...und über Antisemitismus und die Stellung der Juden in der Geschichte...ja ich bilde mich noch im Halbschlaf v.v

"Take out Abenteuer Airline" läuft gerade...fragt mich net was das ist oder worüber die berichten, ich kriege nix mehr mit X_X

Ich schneide mir jetzt mal nen Apfel, damit ich etwas wacher werde....


In dem Bericht über Hitler wurde gesagt, er sei a-sexuell gewesen und dass er sich von seiner Nichte ins/aufs Gesicht urinieren lassen hat ôo
Er wollte unterdrückt werden im Inneren, nach außen aber "regieren" und "führen"...ahja...interessant.

Es ist 04:54Uhr - Na, Schatz, gerade aufgestanden? XDD~ Moin!

Schubiduuu~ Marmelade im Schuuuuuuuuuuh~

Ne...Anti-Vir packts auch net, die Virus-Meldung ist schon wieder da!
Gott, hilf mir! T^T

Jacko ist toooat!!
Rest in peace, King of Pop v.v
I liked him, I admit!!
I like some of his songs and he has such a sad story of live...
The world has lost one of his greatest.
THRILLLLLER!!!
JUST BEAT IT!!! ...ne, Anna?! T^T

We'll remember you.

Kaikan Phrase X_x

Ja also, bin da natürlich nur zufällig drauf gestoßen...ich wusste, dass Kaikan Phrase existiert, mich aber icht weiter damit befassen wollen.

Zufällig bin ich dann auf diese streaming-site gelandet und man kann sich dort die Folgen von Kaikan Phrase anscheun - mir war langweilig und zudem...muss ich zugeben, der Hauptcharacter sieht toll aus! xD~
Ich schaue mir dann also die ersten Folgen an...und ich muss sagen, der Anime von Kaikan Phrase ist ganz ok, nicht weniger und auch vor allem nicht mehr X_x
Ich habe mich dann auch erkundigt und festgestellt, dass Anime und Manga ganz unterschiedlich aufgebaut sind, weshalb ich wohl auch den Anime etwas akzeptabeler als den Manga finde...

Der Anime bringt mich echt zum Lachen, er amüsiert mich - in dem Sinne, dass ich drüber lache, es auslache Ôo~
Erstmal, die Typen rennen da in jeder verdammten Folge mit den selben Klamotten rum...
An sich erstmal nichts schlimmes, in Digimon oder Pokemon oder Beyblade laufen die auch mit den selben Klamotten rum ôo;; (und es sind nicht die wie auf diesem Bild hier!)





Aber irgendwie....passt das so gar nicht in das Anime rein, ich meine bei Digimon sind die mehr oder weniger in der Digiwelt gefangen und können da nicht weg und sich umziehen xDD~
Bei Pokemon ist das so, die reisen durch die Wälder und haben eben nur das nötigste dabei xD Wahrscheinlich wäscht Rocko die Sachen im Fluss xDDDD~
Und bei Beyblade..joa...das ist das eben so! Finde ich auch gar nicht weiter schlimm, mich persönlich stört das da kein bisschen!

Aber bei Kaikan Phrase...das ist total irritierend...es passt nicht!
Was denkt man denn, wenn der Typ nebenbei erwähnen lässt, dass er das gante Wochenende mit einer Dame verbracht hat und wieder die selben Klamotten anhat!?
Alsooooo~ da kann ich doch nur Bemerkungen machen und drüber schmunzeln xD~

Nja~ jedenfalls bin ich jetzt schon bei Folge 10 und....der Sänger, was ja eh ein absolutes Ego-Schwein und Arschloch ist, macht wie eh und je das selbe: mal ist er da, mal haut er einfach abund schwert sich einen Dreck um die Band.
Ist irgendwo recht eintönig das ganze.

Aber am Anfang fand ich den Sänger, Sakuya (schöner Name x3), doch recht interessant weil er mich eben anfänglich an meinen eigenen Charakter erinnert hat...
Und die Musik von Glay und Aucifer, die den Anime unterstützen ist auch toll x3~

Und da wäre es beinahe passiert!!!
Ich wollte mir die Manga kaufen!!!!!!!!! X________x;;;;
Was wäre das für ein Weltuntergang gewesen!?
Ich meine, ich wußte wie gesagt von der Existenz von Kaikan Phrase und wusste, dass es mir eigentlich nicht zusagt...
Da bin ich also zu Amazon und hab geschaut, ob es alle Bände gibt...und ich bin da auf eine Kundenrezesion gestoßen, die mir wieder vor Augen geführt hat, warum ich diesen Manga niemals, niemals, nieeeeeeeeemals lesen wollte:

Zitat Anfang:

Es ist mir absolut schleierhaft, wie man Mayu Shinjos Manga mögen kann. In allen ihren Serien erzählt sie a) die gleiche Geschichte, die b) obendrein furchtbar dämlich und sexistisch ist. Die Handlung verläuft immer nach diesem Muster: Ein unglaublich gutaussehender und erfolgreicher Jüngling (egal ob nun Popstar wie in "Kaikan Phrase", Mafia-Boss wie in "Haou Airen" oder der Teufel persönlich wie in "Virgin Crisis") trifft auf ein süßes und jungfräuliches Mädchen (meistens Schülerin) und will es vom ersten Augenblick an "haben". Er überwältigt es mit seinem Sex-Appeal oder auch mit roher Gewalt, macht es zu seiner Geliebten und von da an darf sie keinen Schritt mehr ohne seine Zustimmung tun, wird dafür aber als Belohnung ab etwa Band 2 alle 15 Seiten ordentlich genagelt und mit Liebeserklärungen in der Art von "Du gehörst nur mir!" bedacht. Und was tut das Mädchen? Es ist überwältigt von soviel Liebe und überglücklich, dass endlich jemand da ist, der ihr das Denken abnimmt.
Und das bezeichnet die Mangaka dann als romantische Liebesgeschichte. Mit ordentlich Kitsch verbrämter Sexismus trifft es wohl eher.
Zitat Ende

Genauso denke ich auch!!! ÔO xDDD~
Schon lustig! x3

Dani, Hannah, bitte schlagt mich net, ich weiß ihr mögt Virgin Crises und Love Celeb
Jeder hat einen anderen Geschack!!!! Ich akzeptiere das!!!

Aber ich reg mich einfach über diese Mangaka auf xDDD~
Die ist so schlimm >_< style="font-weight: bold;">tiefgründig!!!)
Fazit: ich lasse lieber die Finger davon und kann nur froh sein, dass diese Kundenrezesion mich vor dem Fehler meines Lebens bewahrt hat!!!!!! DANKE!!! >/////< onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgpdYswsJmt61JTj6BsirLt_QSZmG5xIjbpMoFq1Lt1hyphenhyphenFdBU1qi19DeSo1uHDj2nssX0Q4quodvULIGEO6LANOosGxhfIywVr4QEWPq27Pz8pI6hLQhY1lQBKiFTEYgz-VAItKtXHDs5dI/s1600-h/Kaikan06.jpg">

Und der eine heißt Santa........... SANTA!? >_>
Dazu muss ich wohl nichts mehr sagen.

Ich finde ja den kleinen Atsuro ganz schnuffelig x333~
Ich warte schon seit Folgen drauf, dass der sich endlich mal die Haare rot färbt!
Das tut er doch oder?! ôo~

Und dann Towa.
Eigentlich isser net so mein Fall...aber er und Atsuro *_*
*yaoi fangirl desu*

Und Yuki hat eigentlich die selbe Position und den selben Charakter wie Hiro aus Gravitation Ôo~
Also ganz akzeptabel.


...gott, ich schreibe hier über nen Anime/Manga, das ich net mag xDD~
Aber das muss sein, weil Mayu Shinjo wirklich eine der Mangaka ist, die nie mögen werde....ebenso wie You Higuri, wobei bei der gehts....ab und zu v.v;;;~

JAPANTAG 2009 ~der Tag davor~ xD

Wuiii~
Morgen ist endlich der Japantag, für den wir unsere Cos' genäht haben xD~
Ich hoffe inständig, dass sich das Wetter etwas verbessert, dass es wärmer wird und nicht regnet!!! Ich habe bauchfrei >________<;;; Und die Sandalen wärmen wohl auch nicht wirklich xD~ Ich habe uns extra Masken besorgt, wegen der Swineflu in Düsseldorf...xD~
Man weiß ja nie, Vorsicht ist immer besser v.v;;~
Aber in Ddorf wurden ja auch Maßnahmen getroffen, von daher wirds schon nicht so schlimm und wie kommen lebend zurück xD~~ harhar~

Heute Abend machen wir alle nochmal Anprobe, schätze ich x3~
Ich muss meine Hose noch trocknen und dann umschlagen, damit sie kürzer ist, damits auch mit den Schuhen passt...aber ansonsten bin ich fertisch und ICH KANN AUCH NIMMER! >_< style="font-weight: bold; color: rgb(204, 102, 204);">Waaaaaaaah~ aber ich bin SOWAS VON aufgeregt! >/////<;;;;~
Ich und bauchfrei!!! Und überhaupt das erste mal nen Cosplay hui hui xD~
Aber wird schon schief gehen xD
Bin echt gespannt, wie dumm die im Bus (und Zug) aus der Wäsche gucken, wenn sie uns ehen, Oro, Yondi, Shika, Kakashi und Sai xDDD~
Oro verschreckt sie alle!! xD harhar~

Joa~ Oro, Yondi, Shika, Kakashi and Sai VS. SWINEFLU! harhar~
Vielleicht krieg ichs doch noch auf die Masken drauf...hmmm û.u~
oder ich male wirklich ein Schild! XD~

Später bei der Anprobe mache ich noch Fotos und stell sie hier rein und wenn ich vom J-Day zurück bin, stell ich die davon rein und dann bin ich auf den Vergleich gespannt hehe~

Ga Ga ohhhh~ Duh Duh Duh Dance Dance Dance!!! Ju Ju Ju just dance!
>_>

See how well you know me xD~

1. Liste 10 Sänger/innen und/oder Bands auf.
2. Lasse deine Freunde erraten, welches von dem/der Sänger/in/ der Band dein Lieblingssong ist, indem diese ein Kommentar mit ihrem Tipp auf diesen Eintrag hinterlassen.
3. Wenn jemand richtig geraten hat, streiche den Betroffenen Sänger/ die betroffene Band durch, schreibe den Lieblingssong hin und schreibe auch hin, wer ihn erraten hat.
4. Wer nachher am meisten erraten hat, hat gewonnen.



1) Hyde - It's sad > biscodragonfly
2) L’arc~en~ciel
3) Vamps
4) Dir en Grey - Inconvenient Ideals > biscodragonfly
5) Gackt
6) X-Japan
7) +D’espairsRay+
8) hide
9) Girugamesh
10) UVERworld



Geht doch, Schatzu! xDDD~
Bei Hyde und Diru lagst du vollkommen richtig...obwohl Dozing Green von diru auch super tollig ist!!! T_T Aber mein Lieblingslied ist und bleibt Inconvenient Ideals ^0^
Einen Ausschnitt von It's sad habe ich sogar hier auf meinem Blog gepostet Ôo;
Naja, Evolution bei Girugamesh ist echt nicht schlecht!! XD ich liebe es!
Aber es gibt noch zwei die mag ich lieber und eins davon ganz besonders xDDDD~
Ja, von Vamps...die Lieder vom Album kennst du ja noch nicht...da kannst du nix für, ansonsten wäre es wohl Time goes by gewesen :)
Bei D'espa gebe ich dir einen Tipp: es ist ein Lied vom neuen Album^^v
Shout at the Devil von Laruku ist auch tollig, aber ich mag ein anderes viel lieber x3333~
Aber danke für's mitmachen!!! *knuddel*

Cosplay, VAMPS und sonstiges xD~

Mein Cos ist fast fertig, es fehlen noch ein paar Kleinigkeiten, aber das krieg ich noch hin! xD~
Muss mich nur ranhalten, damits auch was wird...>_>;;~

Hier habe ich ein paar Fotos (die leider nicht gut geworden sind...möp):





















Das is das
geilste! xD
<-- Ich finde, so in etwa passt des schon, nei? xD~


Ich muss unbedingt zum Frisör! >____<





SEX, BLOOD, ROCK'NROLL!!! WHOOO WHOOO WHOOOuuu~~!!!!!

Ich sag nur, ich bin froh, mir nicht das neue Vamps Album gekauft zu haben, yeah.
Hyde, dich kann man nicht mehr ersnt nehmen o_ô;;~
Haben deine Lieder überhaupt noch Sinn?....ach, ich vergaß, K.A.Z. schreibt ja die ganzen Lieder >_>;
WE NEED LARUKU BACK!!!

Everywhere I go

I know this is not the end.
But sometimes I wish it would just end like this.
Again, I'm in this depressive mood....don't get the wrong idea, I personally hate the word "mood" to describe this very feeling one has at times, 'cause it means you eventuelly will get over that mood and be happy again...gnah~ for me it feels like it never goes to end, ever.
Every so often I do wish it wouldn't end, because I was afraid of the time after; what does await me "there"; it feels like I'm afraid of something, and I am, it's dangerous for me.
I cannot explain what is dangerous; it just is.
So, that is one of the reasons why I want to feel depressed as long as possible in order not to have to see what comes next, good or bad.

What step is to do next?
What's the right thing to do now?
What do I have to do to get everything alright already?
What is the right path?

I cannot answer that, and no other can.
That is so frightening.
And if I keep thinking that, nothing will change.
I know I know that.
And that is my weakness too.
I know what I do wrong and that I have to work hard to make it better, I really do, I'm working hard, but it's not enough yet.
In my head I know what to do, and it annoys me to no end that my feelings and body cannot follow!!
And what are the concequences?
I hurt myself intenionally for my weakness.
Inside.
I humiliate myself, I fuck myself raw, crush my feelings so it hurts me.
I must feel that I am weak.
That I am nothing.
I cannot do anything.
I'm in may own way; I am hindering and restraining myself.
I want it to stop, maybe then I am able to stand up from the dusty ground and go the next step?
Grahh~ where can I take the strenght from that I need so badly?
Give me strenght.
I need strenght.

I need to know where I go.
I need to know what path I should decide on.
I need I need I need I need I need I need I need I need...

Again it's all about my inner bleeding.

To go my own path without a doubt, that's what I want.

I know what restrains me: The fact not to know if I will make it.
I'm not the strongest person...I have not much power, all the power I have I can mobilize once; that's the feeling I have.
I have only one chance; it has to be the right decision I make.

Do I want to become a secretary?
No, I want to be an animal keeper in a zoo or a veterinarian, yes.
But do I have all the power left that is needed to fullfill this dream?
And I want to see my own manga being published someday, too.
Do I have the power to do it?
To go to school again, to do the A-level exam, to go to an universitiy for some years?
I'm already 20...How long will it take for me?

And this year it's for sure, that I don't have an apprenticeship training position...
So what do I do now?
What to do with this year?

....I have to train to be energetic again; to have power.
Therefore I have to be in rehab.
I know I dont't want to be in rehab again.
...but right now it seems to be the only path available.
What do I do?
What do I do?
I cannot decide....

etwas deprimiert...~

möp~

Hach~
Ich bin irgendwie enttäuscht...von Vamps v_v;;;~
Gerade habe ich gehört, dass RA:IN zum ersten Mal nach Deutschland kommen und zwei Konzerte geben, eine Freundin von mir wird ausflippen.
Dir en Grey kommen auch wieder, meine Freundin ist im Siebten Himmel.
Und was machen Vamps bzw. Hyde? ...touren in Amiland... v___v;~~
Es ist ja schön, dass sie wenigstens ihr erstes Album dieses Jahr rausbringen...
aber ich habe das Gefühl, als wolle Hyde gar nicht nacht Deutschland oder überhaupt wieder nach Europa...
Wie soll man da als eurpäischer Fan glücklich sein?!
Hyde, verdammt, komm her, du sau, sonst gibt's was!! >__________< *verzweifelt desu* ...ich würde ihn nur einfach so wahnsinnig gerne wiedersehen... Wer zum Teufel hat denn ständig (oder überhaupt?!) das Geld zu einem Japan-Konzert zu fliegen?! Ich bin ehrlich ganz schön deprimiert ~_~;;;~ Warum kommen alle anderen Bands nach Deutschland und nur er nicht? Nya~ v,v ändern kann ichs ja leider auch nicht...möp~ Ich wünsche aber meinen Freunden viel Spaß bei ihren Konzerten! ^-^
Vielleicht können sie ja länger in Berlin bleiben, da das RA:IN Konzert direkt nach dem Diru Konzert ist, ebenfalls in Berlin.
Und da meine Freundin eh gerne einen Kurzurlaub machen möchte, würde sich das ja dann anbieten.

...schade, dass ich nicht dabei sein kann ;_;~
v______v;;~ *schnüff*

...ich bin aber froh, mir den ersten Band von Card Captor Sakura in neuer Auflage gekauft zu haben :3
das wollte ich ehrlich gesagt schon immer gemacht haben...und ich freue mich, dass es nun soweit ist! hehe~
CLAMP ist einfach toll. ^0^~





Und mein Sai-Cosplay nimmt auch so langsam Form an xDD~ *freu*
Meine Oma will, dass es morgen fertig ist, damit sie nicht mehr kommen und helfen muss xD
Nja, dann muss ich noch den einen Handschuh zurechtnähen, die Hose kürzen und die Schuhe machen...wobei letzteres das schwierigste wird >_>;;;~
Aber zum Glück haben wir ja ein Schnittmuster xD
...wir müssen dazu aber nochmal neuen Stoff kaufen...
Oh, und das Strinband müssen wir noch fertig machen!!
Mal sehen, wie wir das Konoha-Zeichen darauf kriegen Ôo
Und ich brauch diese beschissenen Gürtelschnallen! >_<;;;~
...ist ja doch noch mehr als ich dachte...hmmm~

möööööööööööö~p!!!

back from D-dorf yay x33~

xD




So, my girlfriend and me went to Düsseldorf yesterday ^w^~
"Japan-Viertel" ahoi! xDDD~

Oh, we did see the "Vamps-Cafe" and there were 666 free parking places...Hyde have you been there anyhow?! Ôo ...so many hints xDD~ *fangirl desu* v//v

Surpsingly enough, I didn't buy that much actually Ôo
no hyde or L'arc~en~ciel stuff...nothing .___.;;;~
I just didn't feel like I needed anything from them right now...you know, I get everything I want from lifejornal or other sources...yeah...
but that doesen't mean I don't love them anymore! x333~
...I guess it's just that D-dorf isn't my "life-saver" anymore, all the stuff I can buy there I can easily get from out of the internet lately...so...what I'm trying to say is that I bought unuseful, trashy stuff xDDD~

I bought myself chocolate Pockys, a japanese Naruto manga and two little bleach figures ^-^ ...which where expensive like hell!! roar~
and you wouldn't know which figure you get...until you bought them and are allowed to open the box that is xD~
that's why my girlfriend bought two final fantasy boxes with figures for herself...and was happy she got Rikku, the one she wanted so badly :3
The othert one turned out to be Aerith...which she wants to paint and maybe throw away xD~
I bought two different boxes, I wanted to get Nel and Grimmjow...And I was all happy I got Nel x3333~
and Grimmjow turned out to be Ichigo xD~ ...that's not that bad really.

yay, then I bought ichigo Pockys for my friend and sesame ramen for me and my sis, hehehehe~ RAMEN'S THE BESHT! harhar~

Oh and the german number 3 and 4 of "Ohnmächtig vor Glück" I bought, too xD

yes, that is all. :P


here you have some pictures:

Say hi to Nel x3Ichigo looks scary xDD~ so hopefully that helps me learn japanese more easily ^^;
I so love this story about this hetero pairing xD
(usually I mostly read shonen-ai and yaoi stuff o///v)

the Ramen and the Pockys xDDD~

!!!!!

I could so crash you into a fucking wall right now!!
Back the fuck off, will ya man!?
Grrr~ I'm totally agressive since monday, okay?
Don't touch me, don't speak to me or I'll forget myself and punch you. Hard.
*makes a fist*

I don't really get what is wrong with me okay, so don't demand an explanation 'cause I fucking have none!!
I'm just pissed off! Really pissed!!

Fuck...my head's about to explode...go away!

It hurts.

Kingdom Hearts I and II

I tell you playing Kingdom Hearts is fun.
Playing Kingdom Hearts an choose "hard" in the beginning is NO FUN! >______<;;;~
Really, in KH1 my wrist was hurting after the big battles at the end but I felt like "wow, that was amazingly sick!" It was like being high on having killed all those heartless, yeah.
In KH2 my wrist hardly hurt anytime...these "commandoes" you can chose in every damn situation and battle helps you kill the enemy without really getting high and they do all the work for you, if you want to see it that way...
So, for me I liked the fighting style better in the first game, simply because you yourself had to work and "fight".
So I thought after finishing the second game, "hey, why not choose "hard" the next time?"... and I did.
Meh, that was the most stupid idea I ever had...'cause Kingdom Hearts at "hard" was not playable, at least not for me.
There's just not enogh time for me to heal Sora when he gets attacked, and he really does get attacked a lot Ôo;;;~
So I gave up in KH2....and then I wanted to try playing the first game at "hard", yeah my ass.
Again, stupid idea.
I wanted my wrist to be hurting again, I wanted to get high.
But there's just no fucking way to defeat the bosses when you choose "hard", again because I have not enough time for healing Sora every time he got hit and looses half of his HP....
IT'S NOT POSSIBLE!!!
If anybody is actually out there who did win KH1 at "hard", you are my god!!! xD~

...but for me, I give up v.v
I'm going to start anew and play again at "easy", yeah.
Grgrgrgr~ frustraiting.



Me and my girlfriend are currently working on a Kingdom Hearts story with heartless and nobodies, yay! x3
I design the characters, and at the time I have difficulties desinging new cool clothes for sexy!Riku xD~

and...I wanna have a nobody for Riku, too >_<
With black hair and a blindfold because....no, I'm not gonna spoil my precious ideas! xD
But it would be so cool, a black haired Riku-nobody ._.

What should I do, what schould I have done?

I'm not really into this kind of blogging...anyway, I wanted to try and here I am.
Wanna bet how long I can keep my interest up to write on here? *laugh*

Let's see...
I'm feeling reaaaaally sick these days...kind of down and depressed.
My tummy hurts and my head is about to explode...

~Shards of misery piercing through my soul~

Yeah, writing in English revives my souls, yes.

I know myself, I'm not good at writing down my feelings and problems and then making them official so that everybody can read them...It's not my thing...
And that's exactly why this blog isn't going to be up for long...yeah...
I can't share what's on my mind.

Anyway, I want to watch bleach and read a LeeGaa fanfiction. *A*

Haha~ there it starts... The original intention of writing about my problems in this blog turns (way too) quickly into "writing about anime and manga so I can keep my problems to myself".

I really LUV anime and manga *O*

Byakuya!!!!! Wui~~~ xD~

Oh, and do you guys know Hyde? Ôo
He's gorgeous.





Oi, that's my first post, yay.

See you again?